Thursday morning presents some unusual challenges for my family as it is the only day with an early start for Sam.
Sam is in the senior band, playing Saxophone.
Wisely he has chosen the Alto, not the Tenor.
I chose the Tenor and it’s a lot more to carry.
Especially at 11years old…
So, at 7.07am this morning and Sam hops in the shower.
He is in there for 5, 6, 8, 11 minutes.
First up, we are on tank water, so while our tank is freaking massive (80K Litres)… It still can’t cope with everyone in the family having extended showers every day.
But more than this… the clock is ticking.
He is meant to be a band by 8 am to start.
The long shower meant we left our house at 7.57am.
It's a 12-minute drive.
Now if this was an unusual event I would be ok with it.
It's every bloody week.
So on the way through I start to ask him a few questions…
Why does he think this happens every week?
What is the impact on him of showing up late?
He said “Nothing”.
I thought “OK”.
Unlikely but if that is where he is, I am ok with that.
Fine. Next Question.
What is the impact on others?
He said “not much”.
I tried one more time.
What about your bandmaster?
Sam said the M word… “maybe”.
Fuck it I thought….
And jumped into lecture mode…
Do you respect your Conductor?
How do you think it feels for him when you always show up late?
He didn’t answer.
Next week we go again.
Next week is another opportunity to be there on time.
For now, the principle I took from this experience was “I must give respect to get respect”.
Yes, I know it is straight out of the Surfer’s Code.
But it’s as applicable off the water, as it is in it.
And somewhere in Sam’s world is a place where he wants to be respected and he is not.
He is kept powerless in this situation as he cannot call others out on their lack of respect unless he wants to leave himself a hypocrite.
So the solution lies in showing up on time.
Giving respect to his Conductor.
Giving respect to his fellow band members.
And most of all… giving respect to himself.
And in doing this, he opens the doorway to get the respect he wants in other situations without being a hypocrite.
And so many people are dismissive of the College exams.
They say the exams are…
The invitation is to transform this perspective.
To respect the Exams.
To recognize the work that is required and commit to yourself to do the work.
If you are ready to make the commitment in yourself and give the respect your Fellowship deserves, I invite you to head to http://gradautemedicine.com/gpea now.